Thursday, May 19, 2005
i'm back yet again. feeling quite guilty about wasting so much time online these few days.but somehow, i keep having this premonition that if i don't keep some of my thoughts in a safe place, i'll forget all the things that i've given in-depth thought towards, and i'll have to build that 'ease of blah-ing' thing from scratch again. not that i have much of that now.signs of dementia. hey luling, i think we could be friends!my uncle discovered he was suffering from lung cancer last month. i haven't been really keeping track of what's been happening since then, but my mother told me today that he had this knee inflammation thing and now that it's subsided, he finds he has lost his ability to move around independently. and he cant talk anymore, only wheeze. just now on the phone, my grandma was asking why couldn't she be the one to go instead, since she's alr lost one eye.and my mom was all agitated and everything, 'ma how could you say that? how could you even think that??' blahblah. real life soap opera.so i also drama la. 'mummy must stay strong okay. they need you next week.' all that crap lah. and most unnervingly, she was very taken aback by my sudden maturity. o.0? my thought processes are naturally sophisticated lor. mother goose.and the monster, wah, best. apparently he found something in the situation so amusing, and so he was grinning like some retard at the other end of the table.typical family dinner portrait.anyways, lets put that weird scenario behind us. my mom's going back to the philippines alone next week. and she's gonna drop by pangasinan, and face all that trauma alone. i wish i could go, but chinese o's are next week. but he might be leaving soon, so i think i'll try to visit maybe after chinese.try to hang on ah, tito. will be praying hard for you.16 mocks coming in tomorrow. she told us today cos she thought we needed to go back and 'prepare our hearts.' ("zuo hao xin li zhun bei, yi mian zhan shi beng kui")i think we'll be okay, though. we've done more than 20 papers so far this week. 16 more, turkeyfeet. who am i kidding.but that's okay, i'm sure God will pull us through this. push also can la, i don't really mind.but that'll be more like herding right. hmm.i'm a lamb. mary had a little me.
9:22 PM
reach for
the stars(:
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